Attempt Continues....

This is to all those people who liked the first post on the attempt to have some quality of a Mallu.

So I had taken the forms and gone home on 5th Feb 2011.

I reach home and in the heat of things and excitement, fill in all the details, stick my wanted photograph ( or as my team calls as "mickey mouse" photograph) and keep them ready. I already have got the doctor's certificate certifying that I am alive and kicking. Thank you Doctor for reaffirming the faith that am still alive, still kicking or not is debatable.

So it is Monday and I leave from office a bit early to go to the bank for some work and also to submit this form. I reach the stadium at around 6 and who do I meet there. come on guess guess... yeah, yeah, you are right!! Mr.Big Moustache!! remember him from my last post. yeah, the same one who gave me the once over and asked me to " go, sit in the queue". This time also he gave me the once over. Man, this guy is consistent. I decide to test his abilities of reading other people's mind. I think of some cuss words for him fearing that he might just pull me out of the car and beat me to pulp if those qualities actually exists in him. I fearfully await his response or reaction, but thankfully for me, he did not do anything which would suggest that he has read my mind. Or maybe those qualities only come into force in the morning time and not in evenings..

He told me that you cannot go inside and come back tomorrow. On enquiring the reason, he told me that it is over for today. I told him in my most confident voice " but I was asked to come in the evening". I think that did the trick, he opened the gate. Was it some password that I just blurted out???. hmmmm.

Ok, so I drive in through the gate and take the first right and park my car and get out and take the forms and walk down a nice clean path. I ask a father and son duo who looked as if they were chased by a mad dog ( later realised that I also would have the same look once I start to learn swimming ), where is the swimming facility. The father gave me a look which was like " which language are you speaking?", luckily the son understood and told me go straight and the first left. Ok thank you, and off I go. On the way till the swimming pool, I see lot of people looking at me and smiling. I felt good and smiled rite back at them. Later i realised it was not my face or my million dollar smile, but the piece of cloth hanging from my neck. Yes , the Tie, remember it was Monday??.

So I reach the Swimming pool facility and again i am stopped by Mr. Not so Big moustache security guy. " saar, you have to come tomorrow." I try it again, yeah, the confident voice thing" but I have been asked to come in the evening". The password works once again and i get to go to the coach who is sitting there and is taking the forms and the money. I go and stand in the queue or what looked like a queue. 2 girls come after me but get to give their form before me.Magic?? No! Simple, don't follow the rule. The tribe of Pseudo Educated morons is spreading and spreading fast!

I finally get a chance to give my form and money to the coach. I ask him ,when can I start, he says tomorrow morning. i ask him can i get to see the pool. he says sure, take off ur shoes and and walk in.  I take off my shoes as if getting into a temple and then come to the place where the swimming pool has been dug. there are 2 pools. One the Olympic size pool and the other pool which is for learners.

Joke: how many people in the bigger pool: 3 and guess how many people in the smaller pool: 20.
Bigger Joke: guess how many children in the bigger pool: 3 and guess how many children in the smaller pool: 0. Damn it Man!! i will be the 21st tomorrow in the smaller pool!!! shit shit shit!!!

I meet the instructer and ask him does he understand english, he replies in telegu No. I ask him do u speak hindi, he says a little. I said as long as you understand that i am trying to tell you that i am drowining, He tells me coolly, " saar, you will not drown in that pool .it is only 3 feet deep" Damn again!!

I go back and ask the senior coach, where can i get some swimming gear, he says i have it. He takes me inside a room, gives me 2 swimming trunks, a pair of swimming goggles and a swimming cap. Fantastic. Rs.1500 ( 500 as fees and 1000 for the rest of the stuff) already spent without even putting a toe in water!!

I head home resolving that i better get the ROI for this investment!!

I know you guys are gonna curse me for making you all read so much but still not come to the real thing!! Patience, Patience!!