ATTEMPT RELOADED!!

Dear Friends,


Sorry for the delay in continuing the story. Well, anyways, I am continuing the story now. Hope you like the third edition of my "Pursuit to Malluness"

So I reached home having spent Rs.1500, and tried  the swimming cap along with the goggles. It was a sight to behold! Me in formal wear, tie and a swimming cap on head and swimming goggles on my eyes and no water in sight! Thankfully there were no paparazzis around who would have taken my snap. I can see some people grinning and thinking " Dude, paparazzis only hound the celebrity". My answer is " I am a celebrity, ( in my house) "

Well, I go to sleep thinking that tomorrow is the day when I go and conquer the waters and come out like Mark Spitz or our very own Mihir Sen who was the first Asian to swim the the English Channel ( why do they call it the English Channel??? think think. ok don't smile. no no, now don't laugh!! ). Actually to think of it, I am a fish ( piscean) and i am a mallu, that should have made me an incredible swimmer,but heck no, i am not! Such a shame!! No, not on me. On the sport of swimming for having lost out such an incredible combo!!

So, the foolproof alarm kicks me out at 6:30am next day early morning.( why are you scratching your head on reading the word fool proof alarm?, pls refer to my post titled "Attempt" to know what am i talking about). I reach the swimming facility byt 6:45 and look for my favourite  Mr. Big Moushtache Guy, but he was not there today. Anyways, i was not sad as he was not the reason of my being there so early in the morning. I drive in through the gate, take the right and then park my car on the left and walk towards the swimming facility. looked if i could find the father son duo but did not find them. had a plastic bag with my towel, my swimming trunks. Entered the facility and lo and behold, who do i find here! No, no no. not Mr. Not So Big moushtache guy. ( sorry poonam, will think of a better name next time), but our very own Mr.Big Moushtache Guy. He said "saar, faast day?" I replied yes. He opened a register titled 7 am and asked me to write my name, some no on the card and sign. Then i was instructed, "you can come whatever time you want to , but you will have to sign only in this register. don't create multiple entries". Need to speak to our access control guys about this simple logic!!  Well, entry done, and then shown the way towards the men's changing room.

Reach the men's section, take off my sandals, get into the change room and then ( ok, i am not describing what i did then. This site is visited by kids also!! ). The first shower killed any bit of sleep that i had in me. It was damn cold. So now, out of the shower room, with the swimming cap on and the googles on the swimming cap, i looked every bit of an ace swimmer except for the actual part of swimming. So I walk towards the coach who told me that i won't drown in the pool because it is only 3 feet and greet him in my most cheerful voice " Good morning coach" and he deadpans" Get into the water and walk 10 laps". Hang on, did i just hear him right. I had woken up at 5:30 in the morning to get the form, paid Rs.500  for the fees, took stuff worth Rs.1500 to learn SWIMMING IN WATER and not WALKING IN WATER!! I, put up a mask of somebody who has not heard what he said and ask him " so what do i now?. He deadpans again " walk 10 laps in the water. Damn it man, He actually said it!! I am sure his logic is that when aeroplanes have to run before it flies, why can't i walk before i swim!! Well, whatever it was, i had no option but to get into the errrrrrrrrrrrrr..... cold water and actually walk 10 laps. Felt so foolish doing it. But forgot it because i was smiling looking at the other 15 odd people who were doing some form of water splashing on each other game, which i later understood as they were all in the 2nd day of swimming. So tomorrow i also will be like this and somebody else will have a grin on his face watching me do it.


Once i walk for 10 laps, i ask him now what, he tells me hold your breath and go underwater and release it as fast as you can. eh??? if i have to release it as fast as i can, why bother going underwater? anyways, did that for 10 mins. man it is tough. Ok, sir, done, now what, he says now take a deep breath and go underwater and hold as long as you can. This was ok, i had done it before. I do it twice and the coach says, hold it for atleast 1 minute.Sure, I go underwater, came up feeling that i would have spent at least 5 mins. Coach says, 40 seconds. try harder. Damn!!

Ok coach, 1 minute done, now what, Coach says " now hold the railing and try to float. I felt like I was the genie from the magical lamp and the coach, Alladin. He kept giving me work and i kept doing it! Anyways, how do i float? he says hold the railing and then  let loose. I do dat and taste the chlorine water and come out of the water bring along with me lot of bubbles like a popped soda bottle. He says you are on the right track ! Right track to wat?? tasting the water of the pool?? damn, i try again, same result. try again, i just don't feel like floating. look around and i saw one more soul desperate to float! the only thing that was floating was his bum which was visible out, the rest of the body under water. This soul comes out of the water like a submarine and gives me a big broad smile and asks me, did i float? i did not know what to say, so i said " partly" did not want to be rude and tell him, "some part of you did float". I think i encouraged him because then he started giving me advice on how to float! Just put your head in, and you will. I wanted to tell him that if that is the technique that he adopts, then i know what will float?

Anyways, i do what the coach says and keep going in and out like submarine and suddenly i felt light. a very uplifting feeling engulfed me! no, i did not attain salvation. and some of you peverts, stop thinking of anything else.I was actually floating!!!! YIPEEE!!! Mera paisa vasool ho gaya!!!

Rest in the next blog. I am still under that magical feeling of actually floating!!!